We.

" We loved so many, yet hated so much.
We hurt others, and were hurt ourselves. "

" We yearn to fly, yet fear falling
We desire to know, but fear crying. "

Our Job.

Your job, is to make sure people go to the right place after they die.

My job, is to make sure people do not die at all.

Totally different.
Totally irrelevant.
Totally, contradicting.

Better off Dead

Army destroys your life. Your plans.
And it doesn't care if it does.

On the other hand, those whom you hope do care, do not too.

So what's the point?

As we army men put it.
"Just die la!"

---------------------

Picture if you will, a tree with one trunk, splitting, separating into many branches. And these branches, once splitted, never meet again. They have no intention of criss-crossing one another, but just branching out, towards their own sunlight.

To each himself.
To each his self.

And that, is us.

Engrish!

I need to brush up my English!

Let's start with some alliterations.

"I tawt I taw a putty kat!"

...K that's not even one.

Because Everyone's Different.

I know why I'm just not so easily converted (Not pulling back any words here).
Because everyone is different. Not everyone has ever experienced the stuff I have experienced. Conversely, I've not experienced what everyone else has.

----

People look up into the sky, and imagine some omnipresent being looking down at them. Watching them. Caring for them.

I look up, and can only find the sun, the clouds, the stars. For I can't make myself to believe that everyone else before me, are there. If they were good people, some of them shouldn't even be up there. But rather, here, living a mundane yet happy life.

----

When people close their eyes, they can hear voices, speaking to them. Conscience? An omnipresent being, maybe?

When I close my eyes, I hear a deafening silence. Perhaps, only just my own thoughts, telling myself how quiet, how lonely that voice is.

----

When people look around and see the unfortunate, they thank the omnipresent being that they have been spared that fate. Maybe, they'll pray for them too.

When I look around and see the unfortunate, well. I begin to ask why some people are like that, while some aren't. For even the the nicest, thoughtful, or most considerate are stricken. While people like me, or maybe people worse than me, still lead a considerably problem-free life.

----

People have seen miracles. I have seen miracles.
People have seen ghosts. I have seen ghosts (or so I think).
But people believe, and I don't.

Sure, I've tried to make myself believe. But there are so many things, that make me question. Why this? Why that?

Ya, humans can never understand the greater design, or so they say.
Therein, if I fail to understand, I just can't lie to myself. To everyone. That I believe.

----

The agnostic: Scorned by believers for their inability to find faith. Laughed at by atheists for being wishy-washy.

Let Fly, Sparks and Words Alike.

There may have been better moments.
Better times together as friends.
Better times to even talk about this.

Hell, I'm not even gonna talk about it.
For moments of respect have all just guttered.
Tell me I'm wrong.
Though more of the times, I was the one doing so.

What happens next, is everyone's guess.
A fleeting moment, or a fulfilling time
Sure, I still hope things will end up well.
But I'm sure, some things now don't seem so sure.
And if we let it fly, sparks and words alike,
Maybe, it will say what we feel inside.

-In memory of-
the long yet brief moment of humanoid socializing
that has occurred,
and lived,
and died.

Worn Out

Physiotherapy is a pain. Literally.
After every session, my entire thigh just can't support any weight.
Like, no bones at all.
Sigh. And the knee seems to feel worse rather than better.

Bleah. Nothing I can do, but just continue and hope it gets better.


I've been sleeping at 6 am these few days. Really wondering why I can't fall asleep, even though I go to bed at 1.

So damn tired.